Whose Wrong Whose Right – Wednesday

Each week on Wednesday I will post three scenarios on various issues. Please comment with your honest opinion. *Names changed to protect the innocent

Scenario #1 :  Leonard and Janell got married in a very small ceremony a couple of months ago where only the immediate family was to attend. In order to honor the nuptials of their new marriage, they’ve decided to hold a reception for family and friends to join in on the celebration. Janell has 3 children from a previous marriage ages ranging from 6 to 14 and Leonard has a child living outside of state. Invitations go out to family and friends however the RSVP advises that there is only one kid allowed to attend per household. The intention behind this suggestion is so that the party and the invitees are not under the impression that this is a kid party.

Is  the new couple wrong for this expectation?

Scenario #2: Cathy and Roderick been married for about 11 years and they have a pretty healthy marriage. Cathy is very close to her family and spends a great deal of time with them whenever possible. Rod on the other hand never spends time with his family because his family has never supported his wife and his blended family with her two children. Rod has a child of his own but this child lives out of the country and he does not have any contact information for him. When it comes to Roderick’s mother, Cathy never comments or includes herself in his dealings. One night Roderick decides to pay his mothers rent without telling his wife out of fear of her distain for her and to avoid backlash.

Is Roderick wrong or right for going behind his wifes back and providing financial assistance for his mother. Also, what do you feel about his wife and mother not having a relationship?

Scenario #3: Leslie is battling some unresolved issues with her late father that passed maybe 6 years ago. For some reason she feels as if with his death he got off easier than he should have because of the lifestyle he lived. She feels that death was a cop out for him even though he became sick and suffered with pains. Just this past week, Leslie finds out that her sister is battling a terminal illness. Shortly after, her sister shares with the family her time is very little.  Leslie, ends up withdrawing from her whole family. When Leslie’s sister passes away she decides not to attend her services. The reason why Leslie makes this decision is because she doesn’t feel that her paying her respects is enough apologies for what the father did to the both of them in the past.

Was Leslie wrong for not attending her sisters services?


Anonymous said...

1) Heck no they were not wrong. Shooo I don’t want a bunch of kids running around either.

2) He was wrong for not telling her. Stand up and say hey im paying dukes rent this month. Now I can see if that was going to cause his family to suffer then no don’t do it. Wife and dukes has to get along or there will be no peace for me. Im not gonna be in the middle of two woman beef cus im gonna always side with dukes, even if she is wrong. I think most of us men do that. So they have to get along. If they got along then she wouldn’t care if he helped her and he wouldn’t be scared to say he wanted to help his mom.

3) Not sure what happened in their childhood but I think she is wrong all the way around and needs some mental help asap

Dymond said...

Hey Cha Cha
1) They should say no kids at all...it's not fair to say you can bring one kid only

2) Depends...are they ballin? cuz if they are, who cares if he paid her rent but he should have told her because that is his wife and wives come before mothers IMO...if they aint ballin and this may cause conflict with them financially he was most def wrong. It's sad that the MIL and wife dont have enough respect for Rod to at least get along for him but some women are just b*tches and wont approve of the DIL or the MIL just because
3) Hell yeah Leslie is wrong as hail and she has f*cking issues

mirsmommy said...

1). Yes they were wrong. If all of the adults will be attending the reception, who will be available to watch the children (if the parents don't have a hired babysitter)?

2). Yep, he was wrong. He's wrong for not attempting to settle the issues between his Moms and his wife. And he should be able to help his Moms with whatever she needs, without his wife tripping about it.

3). Old girl has some serious issues. It's one thing if you have something against the father, whatever that may be. But to distance yourself away from the sister, something is definitely wrong with her.

Brendenhasbignuts said...

1) I don't know if I feel welcome if my kids aren't welcome. I avoid going to my aunts BBQ's because she's afraid of dogs, and my dog rolls shotgun always. I understand pets can't go everywhere...So I don't go everywhere...Feel me? So if this were my children,,,which I don't have btw,,,Im sure the same rules would apply. I prob just wouldn't go...

2) Ever heard of bros b4 hoes? Well mommy b4 punani...You should keep no secrets from ur partner, but if you can't get along with moms in the long run...I doubt well make it far...

3) Go with your heart...If your heart tells you don't go...Dont go...Shes already gone...You don't have to see her dead...Her soul is out there...You can make peace with her without attending...

Anonymous said...

1) It’s their wedding and their choice. It’s also my choice if I don’t want to come without both my kids.

2) He’s wrong for not talking to her about it but not for doing it. Especially if it didn’t negatively affect their own household bills.

3) I didn’t attend my mother’s funeral so make of that what you will.

Cha Cha iz CaliSunKissed said...

Awwww... You all have some very awesome answers! Please come back next Wednesday and everyday. I appreciate the feedback!

Cha Cha

Anonymous said...

1. Just say NO KIDS allowed. They don't know what the hell they're partying for anyway. They are prone to tear shit up and get in the way, and weddings are not the place for that. That's grown shit anyhow.

2. HIS money is MY money. I wouldn't mind helping his Mom out, but he needs to negotiate that issue with me first. Hell, we'd have to have enough to pay our own rent. And if we didn't she'd be moving clean into the basement. BOOP!

Jazzy said...

I don't think they are wrong. I know people who specifically state no children under a certain age at all, so limiting the number of children isn't a stretch.

It would be really hard for me to marry a man whose mother didn't care for me and I don't think I could forgive myself that my man can't have a decent relationship with his mother...because she and I can't get it together. With that said, I wouldn't be mad that he paid her rent THAT ONE TIME and as long as we were not struggling and as long as she isn't taking advantage.

My mother works my VERY LAST NERVE, but if she needed help paying her rent, there wouldnt be anything my husband could do to stop me from helping her...because guess where she will have to live if she gets kicked out??? o_O

I don't think I fully understand. If she has unresolved issues with the father, why did this cause issues with her sister?

Moet with Medusa said...

1) I would just say no kids allowed.

2)No he's not wrong for supporting his mom. However, he is wrong for not telling his wife (that's his wife,he's supposed to share those things with here) and if fear exists in the marriage then there are deeper problems than the mom and wife not getting along.

3)Some cuts run deep and some take forever to heal so I wouldn't judge anybody that didn't attend a parent's funeral.