I Slapped a Girl and I liked it

Have you ever just wanted to crank your hand up, haul off and slap the shyt out of someone?!!! Of course you have, what kind of no brainer question is that?!?! Yesterday in full bloat (because for some reason Auntie Punkazz wants to visit twice this month) I was on the elevator reading a magazine about babies. On to the elevator is a old bitty and her friend. "Oh how cute is that...that is a Kodak moment" then her friend turns to me and they get all excited. I just stand there fuming, Im quite sure smoke is coming out my ears. "The magazine cover says baby...baby, baby and more babies and ironically your standing there with you belly poked out" they fall in to more laughter. Then the laughter just ceased and turns in to a confused, shortly thereafter frustrated facef rom the two of them. These dumb azzes are trying to figure out why Im rolling my eyes and rolling up the magazine. "SHUT THE FACK UP SOMETIMES" is what I wanna yell, but I just walk out the elevator, face red and tight.

IM NOT PREGNANT! But the irony is, I want to be. We are trying for baby #3 and I have an appointment for fertility consultation very soon.  Its just really frustrating when people assume things when they dont know you or your life.

Sooooo Im almost sure Im going to run in to those same ladies again because we work on different floors in my building. Next time though, Im going to have on the baddest outfit I can find in my closet... Ima be spanxed the fluck up and Im going to be extra friendly. Im going to turn to the fat one and say "There is a skinny girl in there, I know there is a skinny girl in there just trapped and dying to get out" LOL. Nah..Im not gonna go there, Im a lady.  

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