I Found You Ms New Booty

As of late, I have been seeing some bootys out of this world. Some of these badunka dunks are ri-damndiculous you hear me..and some are to cute to poot, some are fake, some are real, and some are real padded..LOL. I, being a proud owner of junk in the trunk can admire a woman with a nice figure and a nice bottom. What people and especially those less fortunate tend to not understand is that it takes a strong woman to tote around these thangs. Have you ever saw a woman walking towards you and thought I just know her booty is amazing...lol, an azz so fat you can see it from the front?!?! Dont get me wrong, Im not a lady lover and I dont indulge in play time physically with the ladies but like I said before, a womans bootay is an art of perfection and  I appreciate nice things. I think its a natural reaction though for the most part to stare and be in awe when you see something as beautiful as ones assets.  Having a big butt is not only a gift but it can also be a curse. I personally was kind of frustrated when Apple Bottom jeans were discontinued because those jeans were true to my size, Its hard to find a pair of size sixteens that compliment  your body and make you look decent with out Ginuwine singing to you "Girl is there anymore room for me...in those jeans". I do wear Baby Phat unfortunately because I dont have a wide selection to choose from other than Seven Jeans and maybe a Levis. Well enough about my Booty Sattires.... without further adieu and to kick the weekend in the azz...

I give you my favorite catalog of BUTTS....... Men and/or women....YOU CAN THANK ME LATER....with a SMACK *wink (GUEST CONTRIBUTOR- MR CHA CHA)

WWJD

A man is claiming he was injured at a local church in an incident involving NBA superstar Kobe Bryant. Sources told 10News Bryant was attending a church service at St. Therese of Carmel in Carmel Valley Sunday and thought someone was taking pictures of him with a cellphone.

According to police, Bryant took the phone from the man, did not see any pictures and then left the church. The man claims he injured his wrist in the incident and had to go to the hospital for treatment. 10News learned police are continuing their investigation into the man's claims.

What. Would. Jesus. Do?

I CARE

The other day my family (my husband, my son, Boobie 11 and my daughter, Cookie 9) went to spend the day with one of my good friends for a Sunday get-together. Let me get right to the point. I am from a town called WHOOP AZZ where kids are to be seen and not heard. I was raised that when grown folks is talking you shat the hail up. I was raised to raise my hand in a room full of adults to get attention enough to be acknowledged. I was raised that you dont sit around grown folks when they talking.

     My children are not perfect but I have raised them to stay in their lanes (a childs place). I have raised them to know when the conversation turns to adult talk, you find something to do. My husband and I dont even discuss grown talk in the car. If we just have to we either talk in codes or we turn the stereo up and lean in to one another.  Oh but these kids now a days are smart as hail and they pick up even faster. I try to live my life as standard as possible, providing good examples and teaching my kids the best way to conduct themselves. My kids have been in situations where they knew the kids they were around were about to get it and they couldnt do nothing but shake their own heads.

    My husband who is 6'4 about 248 lbs is militant as hail and he aint nobodies Sgt. but his outer is intimidating and he runs a tight ship. Just recently in church they appointed this guy as Sgt of Arms and when I say give a brother a foot he will take a mile...LOL He was live and direct, excited to be in his element, but oh those poor kids. My kids love him to death but the last thing they ever try to do is annoy him or get him going because they know that BOOT CAMP is in full effect.

When Hoodrats attack

Meeka Slapxton VS. 

TAMMY "ROME BEATDOWN" ROMAN

So news surfaced last week that the sweatbox otherwise known as Meeka Claxton was filing suit against public service recipient Tami Roman for assault Click HERE if you missed it. Although this occured in the real the world (hahaha) weeks ago  the rest of the world had to wait to watch it on last nights episode. Now dont get me wrong, I fux with Tami because she's like the underdog. All the other chicks are scared of her but she is the type that when you cool with her...its cool...BUT just dont get on her bad side. In my opinion though... the only two people that should've been fighting, should have been Meeka going up side Suzies punk azz head (wonders if she says her name with a lisps). Suzie is a straight coward. I am mad at Tami though because she could have been a bigger person and just left well enough alone. If Im not mistaken, she did say "fakes and phonies" vs. "popular girls" but even if she did... who was gon check her! (NOBODY) Although I think that Tami slappin the breaks off of Meeka was uncalled for...Im quite sure, aint nobody else gonna be saying to much sideways to Tami in the near future. Annnnnnd, for the record, I still think that Evelyn is mad at Jennifer and I dont see their relationship ever  being the same, over dinner they barely even gave each other eye contact. 

Ummmm....

On Saturday I was in  WalMart(the zoo) and I was purchasing a couple of things for our companies annual picnic. Since it was Saturday I already knew what I was getting myself in to by even going in that damn chaotic place of a store..HMPH! I went in hard, and told myself to stick to the script. Lines were crazy per usual but my hubby and I did the two line game where whoevers moves first we will slide over to that line.

Anyhow, when I get to the counter and as Im putting my shyt on there, some non english speaking elderly comes out of the woodworks with like three items in her hand ( boxers, danish, and dishwashing liquid) and motions to go before me. The thing is, by the time I figured out why she was igging me and thrusting her items at me, the cashier had already started ringing me up.

I was like "Oh you wanted to go before me"

"yes ..yes... yes"

Im like "Oh Im sorry, she has already started ringing me up"

..do you know this heffah proceeded to try to put her shyt in with mine and hand me her money.

I was like

"No, what are you doing" and she kept insisting.

I was about to drop kick her azz, but I mean she was old and little and that would've been foul on my part.

So I guess, since I didnt oblige or take her money, she got frustrated with me grab her things and went to the front of the line of the next patron. I sat there and watched shaking my head as this man tried to communicate the same as I did but you could also tell he was confused azz hail. I tell you what, if she would've just waited in line like everybody else, her azz would have been gone out the store to do whatever she needed to urgently do with them  damn boxers, danish and dishwashing soap.

The people of WAL MART ... ROFLMAO! 

I Slapped a Girl and I liked it

Have you ever just wanted to crank your hand up, haul off and slap the shyt out of someone?!!! Of course you have, what kind of no brainer question is that?!?! Yesterday in full bloat (because for some reason Auntie Punkazz wants to visit twice this month) I was on the elevator reading a magazine about babies. On to the elevator is a old bitty and her friend. "Oh how cute is that...that is a Kodak moment" then her friend turns to me and they get all excited. I just stand there fuming, Im quite sure smoke is coming out my ears. "The magazine cover says baby...baby, baby and more babies and ironically your standing there with you belly poked out" they fall in to more laughter. Then the laughter just ceased and turns in to a confused, shortly thereafter frustrated facef rom the two of them. These dumb azzes are trying to figure out why Im rolling my eyes and rolling up the magazine. "SHUT THE FACK UP SOMETIMES" is what I wanna yell, but I just walk out the elevator, face red and tight.

IM NOT PREGNANT! But the irony is, I want to be. We are trying for baby #3 and I have an appointment for fertility consultation very soon.  Its just really frustrating when people assume things when they dont know you or your life.

Sooooo Im almost sure Im going to run in to those same ladies again because we work on different floors in my building. Next time though, Im going to have on the baddest outfit I can find in my closet... Ima be spanxed the fluck up and Im going to be extra friendly. Im going to turn to the fat one and say "There is a skinny girl in there, I know there is a skinny girl in there just trapped and dying to get out" LOL. Nah..Im not gonna go there, Im a lady.